We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
