did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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