Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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