There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
