didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
