You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
