spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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