woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
