He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
