So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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