Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
