I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
