Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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