im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
