this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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