i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
