Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
