There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
