The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
