If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
