happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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