I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
and you fell through a lawn chair
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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