I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
