I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
