Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
