Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Vodka?
Forever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
