Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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