real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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