my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
