Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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