I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
