??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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