Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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