Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
