How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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