I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
