He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
