Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
