He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
