if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
