Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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