Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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