We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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