Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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