he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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