The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
