I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The power of my boobs compel you
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
