How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
