i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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