i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
