how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
did i just pee glitter
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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