you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
