You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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