i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
